i know i do

I used to photograph myself to convince someone to love me.
It was expected that I would wear a corset, fishnet of some kind, gloves...
A ball gag always received immediate response.

But of course, that was not lasting love.
It was not even lasting lust.

How can someone love you
When you don't even love yourself?

How can someone respect you
When you don't even respect yourself?

I got caught up in his lie that if I did not love and accept his apology
That I was a hypocrite or worse.

I conditioned myself to love at all costs
So that even now, I know no other way.

Some would say, "Wait until you are attacked, and see how much compassion you have."

I was.  I did. I am.

The more I see you struggle, the greater my compassion grows.
I see it in every eye.
I hear it in every word.

People crave more than anything
To be seen
To be heard
To be understood
To be loved.

I know I do.

And now I know where to find it.