found and not lost

I just found this saved draft dated August 25, 2013 10:14pm.

I can't sit with raised voices.

You say you love women.

Ladies. Girls. Whatever we choose to call ourselves.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

You want to make us happy,
To prove to yourself you are a capable man.

You want us to play out a role,
Fulfill a need you never had met.
You forget we have our own dreams.
You forget we are capable of making our own choices.

In the chaos you cannot control,
You lash out in anger.

Out of respect
Out of love
We acquiesce

Lost in your own dark rage
You forget your responsibility
To your power

You inflict
You infect

Wounds in our vulnerability.
Wounds that no western medicine can heal.
Wounds that make us turn to magic.

Unable to look at anger.
Unable to hear your pain.
Unable to accept our own impotence to change the course of your own life.

You broke down all walls.
You stole our innocence.
You ran off with our dreams.

You smashed our sea glass hearts on the pavement just to watch the sun glint off the shards.
The reflection of supposed power.

I cannot stomach your violence.

You want to cram your insipid search for righteousness down our throats.

You should save some for yourself.

In your duality,
You feed the wolf with teeth that bites your hand.

My body wants to expel that negativity in one vomitous retch.

Your screams smashed all the bricks I built as a child.

And I,

I am left with nothing.

In your ignorance
You do not see.
Nothing is all I need.

I will cry
I will dance
I will sing

And sweat
And bleed

Over
And
Over

My whole body will shudder.

To rid
The hollow
Debris
Left in your wake

It is not mine.

It does not belong here.

I will wash it out down the river.
I will hang it on the wind.
I will burn the images from my minds eye.

In the sun

When I lift my chin
To gulp down
The nourishment
My soul is starving for

In gratitude,

I will whisper my wish on the wind.

Let me go.