science vs magic

Science tells us:

We do not see with our eyes, we only see what our brains tell us we see.

It is all a matter of perspective. Filtered by your past, your fears, your desires. I see what I want to see, that is the magic of me.  I reject your reality, and insert my own.

Egos are fascinating people.  The ones with strong opinions and loud convictions.  The ones with style and charisma that want to charm you into believing their "sensible" logic.    They flash their lightening romance at me in a brilliant surge of passion.  "Look at me, " they say.  I haven't been seen in so very long.  "Touch me," they whisper.  I have forgotten how to be soft.  "Talk to me, don't talk to me." My mind cannot grasp your surreality.   Yearning for the closeness they crave.  Starving for acceptance.  From anyone.  But not from me.


We live in a do as I say not as I do society

Years of conditioning have taught them to cling to their masks for protection from the vulnerability they see as a weakness.  Clenched fists, become clenched hearts.  So strong in the habit, that they do not know how to let go.  Blessed be their struggle to see the dichotomy. They sleep to dream and dream of life.  When the sun shines its brilliant rays on you simply because you exist, do you instictively reach for glasses to protect your eyes?  Or do you lift your beautiful chin to soak it entirely in...

The chance to be accepted as I truly am begins with me, and so it does with you as well.   Seek not an outside love, but all of the barriers you have built against love.  See yourself as I see you.

Your smell of desire
The softening of your smile
The hunger in your hands
The pound of your feet against concrete
The taste of your tongue
The thoughtful shave
The heat in your eyes

The wonderful way that you get lost
The careful words your craftfully deliver
The soundtrack you provide

The silence you want to fill me with

Rest your head on my shoulder, crawl into my lap, let my spherical motherlove envelope you in comfort and compassion. Bring to me your desperation, breathe it out and into my river to be washed away.

I see you hiding, behind that mask you keep by the door. I see you searching my crystal mirror for reflections of yourself. A deer in my headlights, I see you are afraid, but I do not fear you.

Which wolf will you feed?  What will you do when it looks you in the eye?

I will be a wolf in the night

Sneaking out onto your dock

To release the bowlines and set you adrift

So that you might feel more free

{she-wolf}

the great colossus

In silent solitude flashes of who I am come back to me.

I am French
I am a hippie
I am a flapper
I am the purple sun
I am fire
I am shivers
I am desire
I am nothing
I am old
I am a child
I am pain
I am ecstasy
I am respect
I am boundless
I am love
I am selfish
I am defiant
I am label-less


I am the wind that ruffles your hair
I am the kiss that you crave
I am the smile that you dare to share
I am the secret warmth in your spine
I am the tingle in your toes
I am the breath that your forcefully exhale
I am the freedom that you dream not of


cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
~Emma Lazarus

I am beautiful
I am ugly
I am like no one else on earth could be

bluejay exhale

I am banking on my sustainable heart to get me through this

The last few days I have felt insecure. Rebellious. The thing I was most afraid of happened. My reality did not match up with the new self I was manifesting. Inwardly, I stumbled.

Why is this challenge presenting itself to me at this moment? 

How does it make me feel?

What am I willing to do about it?

Is this a healthy choice I am making for myself, without fear of judgment from any outside source?

Contemplating the cognitive dissonance was a needless distraction. It was simple. Continuing on my current path holding on to the last remnants of my past was proving to recreate it.

This is my moment to make another leap forward. By choice!

The hot air balloon flew above my house and shook the foundation. Letting the spiritual debris fall free.

The universe keeps sending me the same lesson until I have learned it.  SO why fight it?  And even after I accept it, the lesson keeps presenting itself so I recognize it and gain confidence in my new found knowledge.

As the artist of my own life, I get to choose what that looks like.  We all have a past.  We were all once inexperienced youth.  Impressionable minds fodder for the insecurities of those that came before us.  But we learn through that exquisite pain, la douleur exquise, that which is truly us.

I lay at level with the water  and meet it eye to eye. I soak in the brilliance of the earth through my pores, like osmosis.  I hear much more than my brain can process, but every cell in my body is listening.  In that space between my breath, my soul tells me:

I am not becoming. I am already infinite.

{I contain multitudes}