bluejay exhale

I am banking on my sustainable heart to get me through this

The last few days I have felt insecure. Rebellious. The thing I was most afraid of happened. My reality did not match up with the new self I was manifesting. Inwardly, I stumbled.

Why is this challenge presenting itself to me at this moment? 

How does it make me feel?

What am I willing to do about it?

Is this a healthy choice I am making for myself, without fear of judgment from any outside source?

Contemplating the cognitive dissonance was a needless distraction. It was simple. Continuing on my current path holding on to the last remnants of my past was proving to recreate it.

This is my moment to make another leap forward. By choice!

The hot air balloon flew above my house and shook the foundation. Letting the spiritual debris fall free.

The universe keeps sending me the same lesson until I have learned it.  SO why fight it?  And even after I accept it, the lesson keeps presenting itself so I recognize it and gain confidence in my new found knowledge.

As the artist of my own life, I get to choose what that looks like.  We all have a past.  We were all once inexperienced youth.  Impressionable minds fodder for the insecurities of those that came before us.  But we learn through that exquisite pain, la douleur exquise, that which is truly us.

I lay at level with the water  and meet it eye to eye. I soak in the brilliance of the earth through my pores, like osmosis.  I hear much more than my brain can process, but every cell in my body is listening.  In that space between my breath, my soul tells me:

I am not becoming. I am already infinite.

{I contain multitudes}